#itstartswithus

From Model to MC – 1200 Techniques N’fa

‘Let’s talk’ with N’fa Forest Jones, from model to MC

Good Morning, Noon or Night (where ever in the world you may be)‘Let’s talk’ with N’fa Forest Jones,who some of you may remember him as the Tim Tam Genie-GOD (he’s totally going to kill me for mentioning that ha ha) and some may remember him from 1200 Technique’s  .. I can go on babbling on about this wonderful human being but Ill let you check out his web site or I will be here for days typing: http://nfajones.com/

nfamus

I have been lucky enough to have been rescued by N’fa at age 14  at my first ever Melbourne FashionWeek

I asked N’fa if he remembered his rescue and his words were: I am glad I stood up for you that guy was being a bit of a BLEEP….  And so a friendship blossomed

N’fa stood up for me for my first ever Melbourne Fashion Week, I was being yelled at by the choreographer and at age 14 must of  looked like a deer in headlights, N’fa and friend Oliver walked passed and he put his arm around and gave a the choreographer a little talk  too and has looked out for me ever since

I found a photo I took back in the day when film needed to be developed so many many moons ago, this was taken in NSW when the boys came and picked me up to go clubbing (yes fifteen years young) sorry mum

N'fa and Olly

I look back being so young and I knew age twelve that I wanted to do modelling and walk the white mile (catwalk)

Great friendships that go on forever

I can still smell the hairspray that was sprayed around back-stage and the last minute touch up’s by frantic makeup artists who probably were as nervous as me as I stood behind Claudia Schiffer to open my first ever catwalk!

The crowd goes silent; and ‘cheque music” … Big Breath…..  Go!

Great memories to have

N’fa has actually been at the peak of some of my embarrassing moments to look out for me, and which some I wont share ha ha –  but when I told my mum I was doing a blog that featured him she laughed and said: I remember when I first met him at the bus stop and i was going to take you somewhere and he was there and put his arm around you and said “I’ll look out for her” and to this day she is his biggest fan ha ha

When I approached N’fa about what his thoughts were on pressure in the industry and being bullied, he was more then happy to help

I asked N’fa if he has been bullied himself and what his thoughts were, this is what he had to say:

Everybody i know in the entire world has been bullied at some point.. some worse that others.. shit, I’ve probably bullied, just being a idiot kid… but nothing too terrible.. I have definitely been bullied, but at an early age around 5 or 6, I decided that what others thought of me meant very little.. the only way I wanted people see me was as a good person, a kind person.  People were rude, racist, selfish, bitchy and I just figured there was something wrong with them, and I moved on.

I would feel disappointed when I came across it all, but I never took it on board.. I don’t personally understand why you would.. but I really feel for them

True friends would slowly emerge out of it, and I was happy alone, happy writing, happy training and running (for the readers out there playing at home this is just a little trivia) N’fa ran 4th in the trials for  National championships

 I got injured a couple seasons later, and that’s when ‘1200  Technique’s blew up..  And didn’t they ever?

I will teach my kids the same.. there are people with all their inner doubts and fears that they’ll push on you because they feel intimidated, and themselves are self conscious and therefor will assume, you are as powerful as you look to them without them even trying to know you(they’re idiots), and then there’s good balanced people who will treat you well.. they may not wanna hang with you, may not find you funny – and that’s okay  at least they won’t be idiots about it.  Same goes for people who wanna hang with you because they think you’re cool, and that is a representation of themselves via association.. I teach my kids to be still, be with self, breathe, worry not of others slanders, but consider any constructive criticism even if it hurts your ego, and don’t be an idiot yourself.. That’s how I do it..

What about when being picked on becomes violent? 

The only time I’ll teach them to react directly to bullying, is when they see someone who can’t handle some other pricks abusive words, and need someone to step in for them, or when bullying is physical.  I’ll teach them to strike in defence with all they have.  Words mean nothing unless you take them on board, but physical, is physical contact.

No matter how one feels, should they be fearful , unsure, sensitive, one must look confident within

I personally would  look confident within, calm, pleasant, and not give a damn about what anyone says (but without being obnoxious about it) that’s my “look”  maintaining that face You learn a lot about oneself and others

I’d like to thank N’fa for the chat

You can follow N’fa on twitter: https://twitter.com/NfaJones

As always,

#itstartswithus 

Keep safe

Signing off,

With Love,

Joline Lootsma

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#itstartswithus, Joline's Journey PT 1

Baby Hancock, Lover of MMA

Good Evening Folks

Morning, Noon or night (depending on where you are from)
And finally we come to one of my favorite people in the world:

                                           Jose Ruiz (AKA BABY) 

Before we get into talking about #itstartswithus I need to get something off my chest real quick…  Baby (aka Jose) send me this picture of himself and Handcock (from the movie Hancock ft Will Smith) and as I have been trying to type this up I have been laughing my ass off  at what a dork he can be and what a clown he is, but Jose truely is within his own right our very own Melbourne Hancock as he has the same caring nature, and biggest heart (like the All-Heart logo in the film)  He doesn’t have his own costume but…. he has his very own bike (which yes he send me a picture of lol) check out the batman sign!, I love it
Josebike
When I asked him if we could have quick chat about #itstartswithus I got some great pics from him so I have to show another one off
(see below)
Jose and The American Top Team – Link: https://americantopteam.com/
Now for those readers up to date with MMA (even those who have heard bits and pieces)”BEST MMA camp in the country!”– UFC Commentator by Joe Rogan (USA), check out the weblink provided to have a little sticky beak.
jose american top team.jpg
Jose is in black with the ‘American Top Team Family’ https://americantopteam.com/

Jose AKA Baby  I have been blessed to have met and now known for….. sigh….( I wont say how long he’d kill me) let’s just say since Fresh Prince was on TV (yes before Netfix) ha ha. 

Dude we old known eachother  19 years (i promised him I wasn’t going to write that) ha ha….

OMG He is so going to kill me for leaving that bit in..

Jose and I met through a mutual friend and went to the same highschool ‘Elwood Represent‘ … and like the 2pac song goes: you ain’t never had a friend like me… , and you never aint never had a friend like him ha ha
He is someone very special and anyone would be so blessed to have a friend like him He’s been a great help with  (that’s an understatement)  #itstartswihus

When I asked him about bullying, he honest is the first person I spoke too and here is a bit of his story:

Jose Ruiz grew up in Melbourne, in (for those playing at home, if you live in Melbourne, Vic, Australia you will know it well) Prahran flats (this is somewhere I have also lived myself).

Prahran flats was and still is rough … it’s always been grimy…dirty… but yet still home…rough… potentially dangerous (but yet still home)
Age nine was rough, Jose found himself getting caught up with some kids who ended up bullying him, which led him to the a journey that today he still lives and breathes “Mixed Martial Arts” – or MMA
 Jose and Martial Arts
Age 9 Jose got into, karate, kick boxing and juititsu which turned out to be a bit of a lifestyle that which to date is what makes him a supporter and a lover of MMA, and now as a father he also encourages his kids be part of martial arts

At age 9 he got picked on, this was while living at the Prahran flats,  Jose was always and still is a lover of Bruce Lee he decided to get into Judo (Judo originated in Japan as a derivative of the various martial arts )  not having had a father growing up Jose found his sensei (usually known by the Japanese as “teacher”) to be someone much more then just a teacher.  Learning about the psychology and respect behind the martial arts

Jose is really passionate about martial arts and explains its like a dance” and the poetry of limb manipulation, – how to read your opponent, never to “lower your eyes to an openent” and to use your opponents weight against them (you will find that a lot in jujitsu)

Being the lover and supporter of MMA Jose showed me a video that bought tears to my eyes (admittedly cried like a baby watching this)
In the end it is with thanks to these bullies (and admittedly a broken nose) and the tough rough living of Prahran flats that Jose is where he is today and is one of the biggest lovers I know of MMA I personally am a massive fan, and sit on my edge on my seat and are known to message eachother through a fight with the same line always (it’s poetry)
As always,
Signing Off, 
With Love
Joline Lootsma
If you would like to be part of #itstartswithus  or have any questions please email me at any time: joline.lootsma@yandex.com

 

#itstartswithus, Joline's Journey PT 1

Beautiful Jill Lebens

#itstartswithus

I have been talking with the one and only Beautiful Jill Lebens (Lifestyle Blogger)

I have known Jill from back in our earlier years, she was beautiful then and is even more beautiful now in and out

Please go and check out her page: https://www.iamjillwright.com

She writes all things from Fashion to Fitness and Social events.. Class and Sass this chick and am so lucky to have such kindhearted friends

#itstartswithus started because a close friend of mine one of his kids was getting bullied and that was my personal drive to get this out to people and along the way I have learned a thing or two about how to deal with similar issues that I still face being 34

You know it’s kind of funny as I read my questions back and see similar struggles we both faced, and I wish I reached out myself to people a little more and give them the advice that we are all trying to convey here with #itstartswithus as it isn’t mine, it is something that lovely people have been part of, so let’s get to Jill and see what she has to say on the subject

Jill1

Some of you may know Jill as a lifestyle blogger and some as a photographer also, and some are new to Jill (so now you know) ha ha

When I asked her about the types of bullying there is, here is what she had to say:

I feel like there are so many different types of bullying these days and the forms are expanding.  Obviously technology has created a platform that is easier and more accessible for many but there is constantly something new that people want to ‘pick on’ or criticise or use as an excuse to exclude and ostracise others.
I had to ask Jill if she had ever been bullied, as some of you don’t know, Jill was and always will be a gorgeous tall model
Here is what she had to say:
I was lucky enough that when I was at school, I wasn’t bullied.  In saying that, I was very tall, skinny and awkward so I didn’t really ‘fit in’ as well as I would have liked.  & maybe there was a level of bullying but I was so oblivious at that age, or maybe I just didn’t care what other people thought of me.  It’s only now that I’m older that I am more conscious of it and aware of what it is.
And what about while modelling, did you find it rough in that industry?
Only the pressure and expectations I put on myself.  I think that physically comparing yourself to someone else at such a young age isn’t really healthy.
I wanted to know if being a model played a factor in bullying?
To be honest, I didn’t notice.  Nothing really changed for me except that I got a little extra exposure.  Of course there were the people who would pass judgement on my looks but when you are in an industry based on physical attributes, you can’t really avoid that.
So, when I asked her about the “NOW” factor.. I had to laugh, because what she said… now it is exactly what my friends have said about me so I love this answer
What about the “NOW” do you get it now?
No.  I am 6′ tall though and have been told I have ‘resting bitch face‘ so maybe I look a little scary.  Ha, ha.
Just really quickly….I have a theory on the ‘resting bitch face‘ It’s not that we are bitches, I have to say when it comes to Jill it’s very much the opposite, it’s just the we’ve seen it all been there all before look.. and in my case (I cannot speak for Jill) I am the most approachable person, we just get fed up with the logistics of “beating around the bush” Keep it real folks….

When I asked Jill about the difference between the “then” and the now” here is what she had to say

The reason bullying was highlighted for me during High School was only because I saw it happen to my brother.  He struggled at school academically and wasn’t really athletic or part of any of the school based groups.  I saw him get picked on relentlessly and then one day it started to become physical.  This was one of the worst things I had seen and felt really useless.  Being 2years younger and female, there wasn’t much I could do.  It didn’t stop me trying though.
How did you handle the situations and how did you handle or deal with it now?  When I saw how it affected my brother, physically and mentally – I told as many teachers as I could at school.  If I see it happening to anyone now, I am the first to jump in and say something.
Back in school days for both you and your brother, was there a zero tolerance policy that you were aware of?  No.  Unfortunately they turned a blind eye to this issue.
Did families get involved in school?  Yes – my mother went to see the school many times.  They principals did nothing to help.  Eventually one day my brother fought back in a physical altercation and hurt one of the bullies…  My brother was the one to get expelled.  Appallingly handled by the school.
I have to agree with Jill, unfortunately even today some schools tend to do this.. still
What sport are you currently into?  I had lots of knee surgery during high school so my sporting activities have been tailored around my injuries.  I love yoga & cycling and try to fit a few weight sessions in a week as well.
If faced with a bully today would that help?  We all know that physical activity elevates your mood and give you a level of body confidence, I feel this would emotionally assist to deal with bullying.
So many forms of bullying and cyber bullying etc, is this still a problem today for you or anyone close to you or your readers?  Being so heavily involved in social media platforms, I see bullying quite regularly.  I feel like the mentality has become that if someone puts a photo on social media, it’s up for discussion or criticism.  I see it quite a lot:  weigh shaming, sexuality objectification any basically any physical attribute you wish to name.   I think it’s about differentiating between reality and cyber – in my opinion, keyboard warriors lack real life social skills.
Men attacking woman on social media, what are your thoughts? Kids being targeted by other kids in social media, what are your thoughts?   Whether it’s women, children or other men, it’s unacceptable.
Have you ever bullied any body, if so how?.. and has it been resolved?  Not to my knowledge.  I was very aware of my physical appearance growing and with that too, my insecurities with how I looked.  I would have never wanted to make someone feel bad about how they looked, spoke, walked, etc.  Even though I was a model at a young age, I had some of the biggest insecurities you could imagine – some of which are still with me today.
What tools do you use now in day to day life to prevent people from internet trolling and cyber bullying?  For me, I just don’t care.  If someone really wanted me to listen to their negative opinions, they would have to come up to me in person, and lets face it, the people who cyber bully would never do this.  Yes, I receive negative commentary all the time but really, I am living my life how I want to.  I’m not about to feel bad about myself or my life choices because someone I have never met or spoken to has a negative opinion.  Life is too short for the shit.
Are there any tools you can suggest for our readers?  It’s difficult to give advice as everyone is different.  We all think, act, behave and react differently and I think it’s how we learn to mentally process situations.  For me, if someone has taken the time to be negative towards me and has spent time thinking about me in an angry way, it’s really them with the problem.  That would suck!
Suicide, self harm and depression due to bullying is on the rise what words of wisdom can you give our readers?  I think that suicide & self harm stemming from depression can often be a bigger issue.  Mental health is very serious and we need to address the core issues of those problems.  Often, because we can’t see physical disease or disabilities, we don’t believe they are real or as serious as other health issues.  Bullying can definitely make this worse and contribute to feelings of worthlessness and sadness.  Seek help from family, friends and ideally professionals.
And finally, I come to the question I dread asking as I already know the answer
Do you know at what age bullying stops?
Sadly, I don’t think it ever stops. 
Jill Lebens, The Interview
#itstartswithus
And you know what, it really does start with us…
Set a good example to those little ones we are teaching
I want to thank Jill for sharing her story and also a little of her brothers
As aslways
With Love
Signing Off,
Joline Lootsma

 

 

 

#itstartswithus, Anti Bullying Campaign

Let’s talk Bullies #itstartswithus Cody Bennier


 

Hope you’re all having a wonderful Tuesday, here I was thinking it was Monday??

Tonight we get to hear what Cody Bennier has to say about Bullies, so let’s get to know Cody Bennier (and you will see Teddy one of the cutest 10 week young puppy on planet earth)

Here goes….Getting to know a little about Cody

Full name is: Cody James Bennier and 20, yes girls and very single.

Cody has a seventeen year old sister ( who coincidentally named the cute puppy Teddy)

codyndted
Teddy & Cody One for the Cam

Now while I know his hobbies include music and bikes, one thing he hates are bullies

I asked Cody if he would share with everyone about being picked on and this is what he had to say:

I was pick on since primary school then right in to high school I was pick on cos I have a disability and my weight

I have suffered from depression and anxiety from being bullied, friends doctors and family can help

If you’re being bullied at any age, tell someone, tell anyone that you trust

Bullying will never stop, that’s the unfortunate thing

There is this so called “trend” of trolling against each other (basically a dissing battle)

I asked Cody what his take was on trolling not just in general but also trolling battles:

People think they’re cool doing that, I hate that

I have to agree with Cody, I think it’s a waste of energy you could put towards doing something positive

I want to thank Cody Bennier (and Teddy) for being part of #itstartswithus

So many of us (whatever age) battle with how we look at ourselves and when you’re growing into an adult you have so many insecurities already, the last thing we need is to have someone else attacking us, we have to ask ourselves why the person says or does things (the psychology behind the bully)

I speak with Jose Ruiz (AKA Baby) on this subject of the psychology behind the bully

Please if you feel alone and/ or need someone to talk too there is a great team at BeyondBlue.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Alternatively you can call them on: 1300 22 4636 (24 hours and 7 days per week)

You can chat to them online also, or email them

Beyond blue is a great service they cater to everyone, so please don’t ever feel alone

Domestic violence… NOT OKAY UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE

You don’t have to hit for it to be domestic violence

Need assistance or want to find out more?

http://www.dvrcv.org.au/about-us/relationship-violence

Thank you for everyone who is supporting #itstartswithus

Please remember #itstartswithus is something I came up with during a YouTube cast, then name kinds of stuck.. Let’s make it mean something #itstartswithus It doesn’t belong to me, let it belong to us.  Like the neighbourhood watch program, let this be that online…. Post it on your wall if you support it

Please email me or find me on Facebook if you would like to get involved or have any questions

As always,

Its been a pleasure

Signing off

With Love

Joline

https://www.gofundme.com/jolineblogginit

https://twitter.com/JolineLootsma