#itstartswithus, Anti Bullying Campaign, The Journey

Gold Coast University Hospital



This morning I had to call the ambulance as I wasn’t able to really walk, and also had a little incident, my right foot started drooping also and I remember the GP in Sydney telling if that was to happen to call   hospital asap

Day prior I had a fall, and on the day a little bit of a slip (admitting I did over emphasise it not by much)  just in shock and unusual amount of pain, shooting down my right leg with tingles.. Unable to stand on my toes…. This is all very much out of the ordinary especially with losing bladder control

The ambulance didn’t take too long to come and didn’t ask for my details (which turns out in my case was a blessing) as they gave me the green whistle which seem to help the nerve pain go from an 8 to a 6



At (yes still here gone to short stay) 3:25pm  wet the bed advised i was in too much pain to walk (which the Ambulance knew yet wrote on the chart walked to the stretcher)???? I have a witness that can confirm that this is not the case

I was then advised by nurse too bad basically and walked off……

I buzzed again, again i had an accident and moving the sheets around due to discomfort i dropped my phone and I now cannot even turn it on, it is absolutely useless, Iphone 6s Plus!

I then buzzed again, 3:55 he ((Paul) returns with a purple gown and a nappy tells me to change into that and walked off worth the curtains open

He has been friendly to all other patience except for myself and its like I am an inconvenience to the staff   who get paid to do this and have no empathy


4:00pm now, i have just buzzed my buzzer, this nurse hasn’t even asked if I required assistance wit the gown or putting a nappy on (Christina is this nurses name)



All of this has been based 100% on the judgement that I have had prior history of being in hospital (and the first DR who I saw in short stay advised me so in front of a whole bunch of other nurses but in the last 4 months I have attended this hospital (which I forgot as my car accident has affected my short tem memory) because I had been date raped and when i came to in the morning on the street I walked to the nearest house and asked them if they could call an ambulance… 8 hours later I woke up in this hospital with tubes down my throat and the ambulance report said i was found on the street with  heap of drug paraphernalia around me (which is 100% false) as records will show I walked with nothing on me to a house and waited at the house for the ambulance to come

My prior medical history that labels this hospital me a junkie is because few years back I had valid reasons for going to hospitals, ) had  lost a baby (and worst hospital besides this one and QUEII) had to remove it after 10 weeks, I kept calling saying to the triage I think something is wrong, they told me spotting and the amount was normal… Next day I had lost my baby

I have had endometriosis I was in hospital for that and then when i still had pain and had a pain specialist and had all these procedures done I was just given pain medication back in 2009 and I’d build a tolerance so they’d give me more and higher dosages, and the worst thing is…hospitals treat it like I am the pill popping junkie (they don’t look at why and what I had done for the pain and the specialists who keep shoving pills and higher dosages down your throat)… And i was put on high doses of pain meds in 2010 by my DR and that led to an issue… I have had a legitimate reason to come here today and i am being treated by the DR on call and now this male nurse like a junkie…. I am in copious amount of pain…. And no one wants to help…. I cant walk I couldn’t when the ambulance came… The DR had things prescribed for my pain, the minute my history pops up I have been treated in the most un professional and disgusting manner

‘I was in a private hospital in 2010 due to a liver issue and they removed half and my gallbladder also (another time in hospital)

I was raped w few years back and was in hospital for that ….. I want to write this even though it;s very embarrassing for me but to show that the system doesn’t give two shits, they see a red flag and they give you panadol for NOT BEING ABLE TO WALK AND WETTING THE BED, now as I have had a massive car accident and i think its made it worse and this id part of it, you can shove your panadol up your ass, lady had a sore leg and got a shot of morphine!…. I am getting a fake ID, so I get treated like a person


I am still waiting for my male nurse Paul and I can hear him laughing about it in the next room and I pressed the buzzer a while ago so i am laying in my own urine which staff here seem to find funny…. And  not enough to bother to do their job!

I am ashamed laying here.. I cant make any calls because of my phone which I hold the hospital 100% responsible for

The lady few beds up just pressed her buzzer,  he came straight away… And just walked past mine… This is absolutely disgusting behaviour…. And I really do have to go to the bathroom now and its to the point where I feel like just wetting the bed,…..

I can hear this nurse gasbagging to the other nurse about his girlfriend and having a good old laugh while i am laying here not only in pain, pissed off  that my phone broke… But that he keeps walking past helping everyone but myself….


4:20pm – my female DR came to see me, whilst the male nurse told me I was fine and going home just waiting on physio i then get told by my female DR that i am awaiting CT scan


4:35 A nurse by the name of Christina opened the curtain as I was laying still in my urine and trying to figure out how to put on this nappy as ( i later found out i was having issues as it was an XXL one i was having problems) I told her I’ve been laying in my own urine for a long time now and having issues as I didnt know how to put the nappy on she stood beside my bed and instructed me, she saw how much troubles i was having but refused to help…. I advised her about my phone incident and she then responded with: it was broken  when you came in

Now Christina wasn’t present at all, that was the first time I had seen her, I told her it had a scratch on it, now its completely broken  to the point where I can’t turn it on, and smashed and the middle button i cant press or numbers i cant press, I received a lot of attitude, she also said.. You can get up and walk to the toilet…. So  i had a fall….Christina, you should be fired… Or be trained and go through what people like myself go through and also get the attitude, what a sour piece of work!


The time is now 7:48pm… I have been here since the morning and have been given: Nurofen and panadol (one time of each)…  This is all due to pre-judgement and it is absolutely the moat disrespectful and judgemental hospital…. I didn’t come here asking for pain medication, I came in, in panic mode because: I’VE LOST FEELING IN MY LEGS AND BECOME A BED WETTER!!!.


I have seen four separate DR’s who have told me three separate things

7:58pm, I have been given 5mg of Endone and 1x Ibrufen when I have 20mg of Oxynorm for breakthrough pain on top of Targin 3x daily and muscle relaxants for the nerve damage in my face and spine


8:33, still nothing…… Four Doctors, 2x brufen, 1 Endone in total and i am at a 8 in pain


I can’t contact anybody, because of the phone being smashed (yes Christine I blame the hospital)

I am wearing a fucking nappy when you could of done a bed pan or since you made go in those wheel chairs how about putting a pan under it!!!


I am over buzzing the buzzer as its the same answer every time, oh still looking into it!!!!

How about we change positions, and ill leave you hear from 11am till 8:37 and tell you ill look into it?

I have repeated my story over four times, and yes the car accident left me with L3L4L5 facial and spinal nerve damage so can you imagine how much pain I am in now??


Have some empathy, if you don’t go work at Maccas or be a cleaner (jobs where you don’t need customer service)….


8:40 pm, so I buzzed the buzzer…. Paul previously suggested he’d get the DR as he was still on….. Hour goes by so I buzz again and it’s like he totally forgot and said ‘I shall grab him now’

I advised him I want not to be here anymore, this I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, his response.” I think it was all lost in translation”….. Well LUCKY ME!!, and I am sure I am not the only one that goes through this

When I told him how i had a fall, how I was treated and no one has compassion, his response was: yes some staff just don’t get it….and have no empathy…..

There it is folks, from a staff member himself, and I told him what I am telling you, THEN THEY NEED TO FIND A JOB WITH NO CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


9:01pm, Paul advised me that the DR’s wont see me and the medication I was promised by 4 diff dr’s, well basically they lied…. Apparently the CT scan came back with NOTHING WRONG!!!!, I had a CT scan done 2 months ago and then 5 months prior, it’s never come back with “NOTHING WRONG”!

And I was advised due to my previous attendance here and the report is why they wont do anything else, except for physio in the morning…. But no pain relief…… Even after I have had a fall

That statement was completely fabricated and if that’s looked into properly so help me god that is 100% falsified statement!


I advised I wanted to go home as they’re doing F all

And this case shouldn’t been based on a previous attendance, that is so not fair whatsoever…. Especially when I cannot feel my legs and wetting the bed ever now and then…. But the test come back fine!!!!!


I have had medication in my bag this whole time and not touched, I have had the worst run this year and this is just a top up of ‘I am done”


So, if I don’t wake up in the morning……  Peace

Joline Marcy Lootsma


P.s, I blame QPS….. I chose to associate with whoever I want, and I know you f*ckers are behind some shit…….  Apparently it was them who did the report for this hospital the first time, lying f*ckers


Its them who put me at fault with my accident when anyone who saw the pic knew it wan’y my fault, yes I had to give way but I couldn’t see the idiot as he was flying at 80km around the bend, and this is how I have to suffer…. Please don’t protect and serve me or my family!!

I have many more eg  but why bother

GCUH, you’re a bunch of judgemental incompetent soulless robots……  Imagine this happening to your daughter!!!!!!  Different story then!!!!!!




Gold Coast University Hospital

3.8  (161) · General Hospital

Southport QLD · 1300 744 284


From <https://www.google.com.au/search?safe=strict&source=hp&ei=4zY-WszIA4al0ASS1LG4CA&btnG=Search&q=hospital+near+me>



9:15 pm, signing off


Joline Lootsma






From Model to MC – 1200 Techniques N’fa

‘Let’s talk’ with N’fa Forest Jones, from model to MC

Good Morning, Noon or Night (where ever in the world you may be)‘Let’s talk’ with N’fa Forest Jones,who some of you may remember him as the Tim Tam Genie-GOD (he’s totally going to kill me for mentioning that ha ha) and some may remember him from 1200 Technique’s  .. I can go on babbling on about this wonderful human being but Ill let you check out his web site or I will be here for days typing: http://nfajones.com/


I have been lucky enough to have been rescued by N’fa at age 14  at my first ever Melbourne FashionWeek

I asked N’fa if he remembered his rescue and his words were: I am glad I stood up for you that guy was being a bit of a BLEEP….  And so a friendship blossomed

N’fa stood up for me for my first ever Melbourne Fashion Week, I was being yelled at by the choreographer and at age 14 must of  looked like a deer in headlights, N’fa and friend Oliver walked passed and he put his arm around and gave a the choreographer a little talk  too and has looked out for me ever since

I found a photo I took back in the day when film needed to be developed so many many moons ago, this was taken in NSW when the boys came and picked me up to go clubbing (yes fifteen years young) sorry mum

N'fa and Olly

I look back being so young and I knew age twelve that I wanted to do modelling and walk the white mile (catwalk)

Great friendships that go on forever

I can still smell the hairspray that was sprayed around back-stage and the last minute touch up’s by frantic makeup artists who probably were as nervous as me as I stood behind Claudia Schiffer to open my first ever catwalk!

The crowd goes silent; and ‘cheque music” … Big Breath…..  Go!

Great memories to have

N’fa has actually been at the peak of some of my embarrassing moments to look out for me, and which some I wont share ha ha –  but when I told my mum I was doing a blog that featured him she laughed and said: I remember when I first met him at the bus stop and i was going to take you somewhere and he was there and put his arm around you and said “I’ll look out for her” and to this day she is his biggest fan ha ha

When I approached N’fa about what his thoughts were on pressure in the industry and being bullied, he was more then happy to help

I asked N’fa if he has been bullied himself and what his thoughts were, this is what he had to say:

Everybody i know in the entire world has been bullied at some point.. some worse that others.. shit, I’ve probably bullied, just being a idiot kid… but nothing too terrible.. I have definitely been bullied, but at an early age around 5 or 6, I decided that what others thought of me meant very little.. the only way I wanted people see me was as a good person, a kind person.  People were rude, racist, selfish, bitchy and I just figured there was something wrong with them, and I moved on.

I would feel disappointed when I came across it all, but I never took it on board.. I don’t personally understand why you would.. but I really feel for them

True friends would slowly emerge out of it, and I was happy alone, happy writing, happy training and running (for the readers out there playing at home this is just a little trivia) N’fa ran 4th in the trials for  National championships

 I got injured a couple seasons later, and that’s when ‘1200  Technique’s blew up..  And didn’t they ever?

I will teach my kids the same.. there are people with all their inner doubts and fears that they’ll push on you because they feel intimidated, and themselves are self conscious and therefor will assume, you are as powerful as you look to them without them even trying to know you(they’re idiots), and then there’s good balanced people who will treat you well.. they may not wanna hang with you, may not find you funny – and that’s okay  at least they won’t be idiots about it.  Same goes for people who wanna hang with you because they think you’re cool, and that is a representation of themselves via association.. I teach my kids to be still, be with self, breathe, worry not of others slanders, but consider any constructive criticism even if it hurts your ego, and don’t be an idiot yourself.. That’s how I do it..

What about when being picked on becomes violent? 

The only time I’ll teach them to react directly to bullying, is when they see someone who can’t handle some other pricks abusive words, and need someone to step in for them, or when bullying is physical.  I’ll teach them to strike in defence with all they have.  Words mean nothing unless you take them on board, but physical, is physical contact.

No matter how one feels, should they be fearful , unsure, sensitive, one must look confident within

I personally would  look confident within, calm, pleasant, and not give a damn about what anyone says (but without being obnoxious about it) that’s my “look”  maintaining that face You learn a lot about oneself and others

I’d like to thank N’fa for the chat

You can follow N’fa on twitter: https://twitter.com/NfaJones

As always,


Keep safe

Signing off,

With Love,

Joline Lootsma

#itstartswithus, Joline's Journey PT 1

Baby Hancock, Lover of MMA

Good Evening Folks

Morning, Noon or night (depending on where you are from)
And finally we come to one of my favorite people in the world:

                                           Jose Ruiz (AKA BABY) 

Before we get into talking about #itstartswithus I need to get something off my chest real quick…  Baby (aka Jose) send me this picture of himself and Handcock (from the movie Hancock ft Will Smith) and as I have been trying to type this up I have been laughing my ass off  at what a dork he can be and what a clown he is, but Jose truely is within his own right our very own Melbourne Hancock as he has the same caring nature, and biggest heart (like the All-Heart logo in the film)  He doesn’t have his own costume but…. he has his very own bike (which yes he send me a picture of lol) check out the batman sign!, I love it
When I asked him if we could have quick chat about #itstartswithus I got some great pics from him so I have to show another one off
(see below)
Jose and The American Top Team – Link: https://americantopteam.com/
Now for those readers up to date with MMA (even those who have heard bits and pieces)”BEST MMA camp in the country!”– UFC Commentator by Joe Rogan (USA), check out the weblink provided to have a little sticky beak.
jose american top team.jpg
Jose is in black with the ‘American Top Team Family’ https://americantopteam.com/

Jose AKA Baby  I have been blessed to have met and now known for….. sigh….( I wont say how long he’d kill me) let’s just say since Fresh Prince was on TV (yes before Netfix) ha ha. 

Dude we old known eachother  19 years (i promised him I wasn’t going to write that) ha ha….

OMG He is so going to kill me for leaving that bit in..

Jose and I met through a mutual friend and went to the same highschool ‘Elwood Represent‘ … and like the 2pac song goes: you ain’t never had a friend like me… , and you never aint never had a friend like him ha ha
He is someone very special and anyone would be so blessed to have a friend like him He’s been a great help with  (that’s an understatement)  #itstartswihus

When I asked him about bullying, he honest is the first person I spoke too and here is a bit of his story:

Jose Ruiz grew up in Melbourne, in (for those playing at home, if you live in Melbourne, Vic, Australia you will know it well) Prahran flats (this is somewhere I have also lived myself).

Prahran flats was and still is rough … it’s always been grimy…dirty… but yet still home…rough… potentially dangerous (but yet still home)
Age nine was rough, Jose found himself getting caught up with some kids who ended up bullying him, which led him to the a journey that today he still lives and breathes “Mixed Martial Arts” – or MMA
 Jose and Martial Arts
Age 9 Jose got into, karate, kick boxing and juititsu which turned out to be a bit of a lifestyle that which to date is what makes him a supporter and a lover of MMA, and now as a father he also encourages his kids be part of martial arts

At age 9 he got picked on, this was while living at the Prahran flats,  Jose was always and still is a lover of Bruce Lee he decided to get into Judo (Judo originated in Japan as a derivative of the various martial arts )  not having had a father growing up Jose found his sensei (usually known by the Japanese as “teacher”) to be someone much more then just a teacher.  Learning about the psychology and respect behind the martial arts

Jose is really passionate about martial arts and explains its like a dance” and the poetry of limb manipulation, – how to read your opponent, never to “lower your eyes to an openent” and to use your opponents weight against them (you will find that a lot in jujitsu)

Being the lover and supporter of MMA Jose showed me a video that bought tears to my eyes (admittedly cried like a baby watching this)
In the end it is with thanks to these bullies (and admittedly a broken nose) and the tough rough living of Prahran flats that Jose is where he is today and is one of the biggest lovers I know of MMA I personally am a massive fan, and sit on my edge on my seat and are known to message eachother through a fight with the same line always (it’s poetry)
As always,
Signing Off, 
With Love
Joline Lootsma
If you would like to be part of #itstartswithus  or have any questions please email me at any time: joline.lootsma@yandex.com


#itstartswithus, Joline's Journey PT 1

Beautiful Jill Lebens


I have been talking with the one and only Beautiful Jill Lebens (Lifestyle Blogger)

I have known Jill from back in our earlier years, she was beautiful then and is even more beautiful now in and out

Please go and check out her page: https://www.iamjillwright.com

She writes all things from Fashion to Fitness and Social events.. Class and Sass this chick and am so lucky to have such kindhearted friends

#itstartswithus started because a close friend of mine one of his kids was getting bullied and that was my personal drive to get this out to people and along the way I have learned a thing or two about how to deal with similar issues that I still face being 34

You know it’s kind of funny as I read my questions back and see similar struggles we both faced, and I wish I reached out myself to people a little more and give them the advice that we are all trying to convey here with #itstartswithus as it isn’t mine, it is something that lovely people have been part of, so let’s get to Jill and see what she has to say on the subject


Some of you may know Jill as a lifestyle blogger and some as a photographer also, and some are new to Jill (so now you know) ha ha

When I asked her about the types of bullying there is, here is what she had to say:

I feel like there are so many different types of bullying these days and the forms are expanding.  Obviously technology has created a platform that is easier and more accessible for many but there is constantly something new that people want to ‘pick on’ or criticise or use as an excuse to exclude and ostracise others.
I had to ask Jill if she had ever been bullied, as some of you don’t know, Jill was and always will be a gorgeous tall model
Here is what she had to say:
I was lucky enough that when I was at school, I wasn’t bullied.  In saying that, I was very tall, skinny and awkward so I didn’t really ‘fit in’ as well as I would have liked.  & maybe there was a level of bullying but I was so oblivious at that age, or maybe I just didn’t care what other people thought of me.  It’s only now that I’m older that I am more conscious of it and aware of what it is.
And what about while modelling, did you find it rough in that industry?
Only the pressure and expectations I put on myself.  I think that physically comparing yourself to someone else at such a young age isn’t really healthy.
I wanted to know if being a model played a factor in bullying?
To be honest, I didn’t notice.  Nothing really changed for me except that I got a little extra exposure.  Of course there were the people who would pass judgement on my looks but when you are in an industry based on physical attributes, you can’t really avoid that.
So, when I asked her about the “NOW” factor.. I had to laugh, because what she said… now it is exactly what my friends have said about me so I love this answer
What about the “NOW” do you get it now?
No.  I am 6′ tall though and have been told I have ‘resting bitch face‘ so maybe I look a little scary.  Ha, ha.
Just really quickly….I have a theory on the ‘resting bitch face‘ It’s not that we are bitches, I have to say when it comes to Jill it’s very much the opposite, it’s just the we’ve seen it all been there all before look.. and in my case (I cannot speak for Jill) I am the most approachable person, we just get fed up with the logistics of “beating around the bush” Keep it real folks….

When I asked Jill about the difference between the “then” and the now” here is what she had to say

The reason bullying was highlighted for me during High School was only because I saw it happen to my brother.  He struggled at school academically and wasn’t really athletic or part of any of the school based groups.  I saw him get picked on relentlessly and then one day it started to become physical.  This was one of the worst things I had seen and felt really useless.  Being 2years younger and female, there wasn’t much I could do.  It didn’t stop me trying though.
How did you handle the situations and how did you handle or deal with it now?  When I saw how it affected my brother, physically and mentally – I told as many teachers as I could at school.  If I see it happening to anyone now, I am the first to jump in and say something.
Back in school days for both you and your brother, was there a zero tolerance policy that you were aware of?  No.  Unfortunately they turned a blind eye to this issue.
Did families get involved in school?  Yes – my mother went to see the school many times.  They principals did nothing to help.  Eventually one day my brother fought back in a physical altercation and hurt one of the bullies…  My brother was the one to get expelled.  Appallingly handled by the school.
I have to agree with Jill, unfortunately even today some schools tend to do this.. still
What sport are you currently into?  I had lots of knee surgery during high school so my sporting activities have been tailored around my injuries.  I love yoga & cycling and try to fit a few weight sessions in a week as well.
If faced with a bully today would that help?  We all know that physical activity elevates your mood and give you a level of body confidence, I feel this would emotionally assist to deal with bullying.
So many forms of bullying and cyber bullying etc, is this still a problem today for you or anyone close to you or your readers?  Being so heavily involved in social media platforms, I see bullying quite regularly.  I feel like the mentality has become that if someone puts a photo on social media, it’s up for discussion or criticism.  I see it quite a lot:  weigh shaming, sexuality objectification any basically any physical attribute you wish to name.   I think it’s about differentiating between reality and cyber – in my opinion, keyboard warriors lack real life social skills.
Men attacking woman on social media, what are your thoughts? Kids being targeted by other kids in social media, what are your thoughts?   Whether it’s women, children or other men, it’s unacceptable.
Have you ever bullied any body, if so how?.. and has it been resolved?  Not to my knowledge.  I was very aware of my physical appearance growing and with that too, my insecurities with how I looked.  I would have never wanted to make someone feel bad about how they looked, spoke, walked, etc.  Even though I was a model at a young age, I had some of the biggest insecurities you could imagine – some of which are still with me today.
What tools do you use now in day to day life to prevent people from internet trolling and cyber bullying?  For me, I just don’t care.  If someone really wanted me to listen to their negative opinions, they would have to come up to me in person, and lets face it, the people who cyber bully would never do this.  Yes, I receive negative commentary all the time but really, I am living my life how I want to.  I’m not about to feel bad about myself or my life choices because someone I have never met or spoken to has a negative opinion.  Life is too short for the shit.
Are there any tools you can suggest for our readers?  It’s difficult to give advice as everyone is different.  We all think, act, behave and react differently and I think it’s how we learn to mentally process situations.  For me, if someone has taken the time to be negative towards me and has spent time thinking about me in an angry way, it’s really them with the problem.  That would suck!
Suicide, self harm and depression due to bullying is on the rise what words of wisdom can you give our readers?  I think that suicide & self harm stemming from depression can often be a bigger issue.  Mental health is very serious and we need to address the core issues of those problems.  Often, because we can’t see physical disease or disabilities, we don’t believe they are real or as serious as other health issues.  Bullying can definitely make this worse and contribute to feelings of worthlessness and sadness.  Seek help from family, friends and ideally professionals.
And finally, I come to the question I dread asking as I already know the answer
Do you know at what age bullying stops?
Sadly, I don’t think it ever stops. 
Jill Lebens, The Interview
And you know what, it really does start with us…
Set a good example to those little ones we are teaching
I want to thank Jill for sharing her story and also a little of her brothers
As aslways
With Love
Signing Off,
Joline Lootsma